--I’VE BEEN FEELING LIKE I DON’T MATTER LIKE I USED TO

…We’re not all afraid of the same things, which is why it takes a lot of imagination to empathize with another person who’s being vulnerable.  I learned that yesterday.

…We wring the pain from darkness and call it wisdom, but it’s still really just pain.

…Talking to yourself too much can be a cause for concern, and it can also weaken your negotiating  powers.

…Everything gets broken in the end and it’s never stronger in the broken places.  It’s just broken.

…I wrecked my car.  I got a new one.  I like the new one way better, even though it’s kind of ridiculous—orange and black, orange seatbelts, orange trim inside.  At my age, it’s probably time to start being ridiculous.

…Envy is a chip on the shoulder.  It just sits there gawking, it’s mouth wide open and slobbering down your arm.

…If you don’t have people in your life who are important to you, then accomplishing big goals feels less than meaningful, even though you should be wanting to accomplish them for yourself.

…There are things I should have done, things I should have said, things I should have said differently.  I can keep replaying those over in my head but it’s not going to change a thing.

…Sometimes my bones fall down.  Sometimes they tap, sometimes they rub themselves together and make a fire.  I just never know for sure what these bones are going to do.

…What is it like for you, when you get like me, so far under the floor that there’s no ceiling in sight?  Or maybe you never do.

…Missing things, or someone, is lot like watching a dog run around in circles, trying to catch its own tail.

…A girl singing on stage last Sunday wore a shirt that said Strong Is Beautiful.  I never thought of it that way, but I think I got what she meant.  Me, I always thought vulnerability was beautiful.

…On yesterday’s run I saw so many rabbits that I thought I was hallucinating.  One even looked like he stopped to wave at me before hopping away.  And then later there were two deer sloshing around in the lake.  We chatted for a while about how important it is to pay attention and be safe.  I hope they heard me.

…And maybe it means nothing, but I have to say I think of you often. 

…Somethings are so covered in need that they shimmer, and still no one notices.

…There’s something about a windy day that makes me take a closer look at what’s outside my window—everything pushed around, rattled and slanted, holding on tight and hoping for deep roots.

…Some people have an ageless resilience towards suffering, and I’m in awe of that.

…I saw a woman with a long smile on the trail the other day.  She was as old as a redwood, frail as a twig, with a hitched shuffle in her gait as she trundled along, hunched over.  That woman looked like she had it all.

…When someone tells you they’ll be a figment of your imagination someday, that person is really just speaking for themselves.

…“Len Kuntz is one of the main reasons I keep writing.  And reading.”—Someone actually wrote that yesterday.  Sheesh, are you kidding me?

…The things in the rearview keep getting smaller and smaller to the eye that once saw them, but they’re still there, larger than life, maybe even larger than that now.

…I’ve only been to a palm reader once in my life.  She puzzled over my life line and didn’t bother hiding her concern.  I think back on that from time to time when the day takes on a darker shade of gray.

…And still, there was that woman with the long smile.  I hope I see her tomorrow.  I hope we’ll both be there.

…Dear God, I hope you have a great weekend and perform a lot of miracles.