—AS YOU WISH

 

…You think you do, but really, you don’t have any idea.

….You can ask me all you want, but I don’t know what will happen tomorrow.

…When there’s nothing left to say, it’s best to use sign language.  If not, if there’s say, a notepad, grab it.  If not, if there’s a can of spray paint, grab that and find a wall or sidewalk and start talking.

…Someday soon I will write like a motherfucker again.  Someday soon, I just know it.

…The other day my wife and I saw a wonderful little indie film called “Lady Bird.”  I didn’t know a solitary thing about it, but hoped it wasn’t about Lady Bird Johnson.  It wasn’t.  What it was, was really terrific, one of the best films I’ve seen in a long time.  What broke my heart was the fact that there were a total of seven (7) people in attendance.  I’m sure “Thor” and those other superhero movie theaters were packed.  Yep, heartbreaking and sad.

…You can tell a lot about a person by where they sit on a bus.

…Some stories are so crazy you think they’re fiction, but they’re not.

…We all have this life and we live it or we don’t.

…The other day I did something brave.  I cleaned up my office.  While doing so, I found an old notebook.  I don’t know how old, but it was brimming with random notes and story starts I hadn’t remembered writing.  Most all of it was crap.  But at least the paper was recyclable.

…It’s good to be scared once in a while.  It means there’s something you don’t want to lose.

…Sometimes the boxes we live in don’t want us there.

…Grief wears a lot of different faces.

…If all there are is words, sometimes when you roll around in them, blood’s going to be spilled, and later on there will be scars, and in that way those words will always be with you.

…One of the most important things I’ve learned is—people can change.  “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is sort of shit.  People can change.  They really can.

…A lot of times, my most favorite time is 2AM.  There’s something about being awake while everyone else is asleep that makes it feel special.  The rain splats.  The vents hum.  Nothing glints on the coal-black surface of the lake.  At 2AM, I feel like a ghost with a purpose.

…There are a lot of emotions that aren’t very fun to experience.  I’d say fear and worry are my least favorite of the lot.

…I believe in Jesus.  I do.  Oh, sure, I am a bad Christian, and I have tons of doubts, not so much about Jesus, but about what came before him.  Still I try not to let my mind go down that rabbit hole where the doubts sit.  The upside is so much better for everyone, don’t you think?  Because if God is real, then hope really is a thing.  That’s what I most want to believe.

…Dear Diary: 

I am writing to you again.  I don’t know why, but for some reason it feels necessary.  Thanks for putting up with my junk.

…If I were you, I’d be tired of me already.  I know I am.