--AIN’T IT FUNNY HOW THE PAST WON’T LET
SOMETHING LIE?
Ghosts in the House
After I saw Mom kissing my Aunt on
the mouth, I learned how to be careful.
But there were snakes in my bed,
ghosts hanging in the hall, booby traps in the cereal. The mirrors snickered at me.
My Aunt liked me too much. She had grasshopper eyes and busy hands. Bath time was slippery Hide-N-Go-Seek and no
fun at all.
“You can at least try a little,” my
Aunt said.
I told her, “No,” but she didn’t
care.
Mother had an arsenal—belts, chains,
an egg beater. She left rocks scattered
in the corner of the living room and if I blinked too fast my penance was
kneeling on those rocks with my hands upraised for an hour. Failure to make it the whole sixty minutes
meant Armageddon.
My Aunt liked to watch, tittering
like a happy chipmunk. She liked to
watch other times, too.
“Just pretend I’m a ghost,” she’d
say while I was peeing or doing the other.
Often she’d look between my legs, leer and say, “You’re just like your
father down there.”
Dad was a ghost, too, not gossamer,
but rather made up of a million tiny needles held together by cigarette
smoke. Sometimes he shape-shifted,
becoming one of the snakes in my bed.
At school, I asked the teacher if I
could please make the classroom my bedroom and live there. She chuckled so hard and said, “I didn’t know
you were funny.”
At home, I kept falling through
trapdoors, kept getting mired in quicksand.
Each time I did, Mom through a slap and pointed out the Job had it much
worse and he never bitched.
There are a lot of ways to realign
your vision—lower your eyelids, close them, blink, go cross-eyed. I learned them all.
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