--WE’RE
SETTING FIRE TO OUR INSIDES FOR FUN
…Hey, Wednesday,
how’re you doing?
I’m okay.
I’ve been
writing poetry instead of editing the novel.
That’s not good. But today, today
is the day I get focused on priorities.
Until then,
here are some funny and/or interesting posts from Facebook friends of late:
-No,
autocorrect, I don't mean gucking.
-I
regret to inform you that yesterday morning at 4:23 AM, the screaming-sex
neighbors returned with a vengeance. Now I have so many questions, chief among
them: have they just not been having sex all these months?
-I'm
tired of your problems, so hear mine: I'm broke. I have 2 kids w/ special
needs. I haven't written poems in months and I have a wet dog.
-I
wish I could see what I look like when I walk down the street. Maybe then I'd
understand why psychics are always stopping me.
-If
it wasn't for Facebook I would have never known how many experts there are on
every single topic.
-Feel like
I'm gonna puke hummingbirds.
-The
internet is weird. Sometimes I forget that you don't all know me personally
& understand that I am a multifaceted human being capable of both error and
empathy. There's no room for mistakes, when you're reduced to a 100 x 100
profile picture, a list of likes & dislikes, links, & small snatches of
conversation. But hey, here I am,
this is me--I screw up. I get angry. I say things in the heat of the moment. I
listen. I consider. I reason. I am capable of great and terrible things. I have
hurt people. I have hurt myself. Maybe I've even brought people joy, peace, and
solace. Sometimes, often even, I'm just
a big goofy twat. & I'm painfully annoying on the regular. I do not have a
brand. I do not have an image. Welcome to my big, unfiltered mess.
-You're
driving around all lonely with your box of sci-fi and unused Magnum XL condoms
and in a moment of despair you fling it in my yard. I get it, dude. Possession
of a big wiener and knowledge of Star Trek episodes doesn't draw the ladies
like in the good ol' days, but did you have to resort to littering to vent your
impotent rage?
-I hate it
when I'm on the eliptical and accidentally hit the "Stop" button and
go to Chipotle and eat a burrito.
-It's my
writing day, so of course I've washed all the dishes from last night's party,
swept the patio, watered the orange trees and started making lunch. Nothing
like a writing day.
-Had a
hangover and a ghost encounter all in the same day
-You
can find me on the corner of "hell yes I can do this" and
"existential crisis."
-This
post is dedicated to everyone that's going to need like a whole pot of coffee
to get through Monday.
-Every
time your phone dies you could too.
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