--HOW DO I GET MYSELF TO YOU

…People still keep trying to give me scads of money.  A former military colonel wanted to give me $10.7 million.  A widow from Europe was left with $8 million she apparently couldn’t find anyone to take, so she wanted me to have it.  Do people really fall for these scams?  I suppose some must.  It’s funny, though, how crooks always misspell words.  Oh and here’s another one that just came in:

Good day

Private Message to you,

Greetings to you in the name of our heavenly God. This mail might come to you as a surprise and the temptation to ignore it could come into your mind, but please, consider it as a Divine Wish of God and accept it with a deep sense of humility. My Name is Isabella Caromel; I escaped tsunami disaster some time ago which affected my spinal cord, my ear drum and claim my entire family, my husband and two sons. It might shock you to know, I was eventually disabled as a result of catastrophe that struck me. Perhaps I’m now on a wheelchair after all form of treatment and to no avail. Because of my present condition I finally decided to give a better life to the poor in the society, since it has determine medically that I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts.

It is my legacy to build charity organizations for the less privilege since my health has finally confirmed deteriorated. In my present condition this project cannot be executed by me alone due to my ailment, so therefore I need your candid voluntarily support to execute the project to make this dream a reality. I have decided to invest my $10.6M USD to help the less privileged, therefore you are chosen from my heart to help receive the funds from where it was kept secretly to build charity organizations for the less privilege to have some better life…and on and on…

…Sometimes when I watch the news it seems as if the world is falling apart.

…It’s interesting how a sunny day can change your disposition.

…One of my favorite things is hearing a child belly-laugh.

…Why do people post pictures of their meals online?  Sometimes they look like cat vomit.

…Dogs are so loyal.  Sometimes I don’t know why they are.

…The other day the clerk at a store complimented my shirt.  “I love pink,” she said.  “I just can’t get my boyfriend to where it.”  Which made me wonder what kind of guy is afraid to wear pink.  Which made me wonder who gets to decide if a certain color is masculine or feminine.  Seems pretty silly to me. 

…One of these days I’m going to write something really great.  Until then, I wrote this:

In the Other Room

In the other room

something is burning.

In this one

moonlight falls like charcoal rain

through sheer drapes

that hike up their skirts

and dance under a vent

maybe mocking me

or not.

Our bed has never felt so vast,

so irrelevant and unused,

a raft adrift in some black ocean

where even the current has lost its will.

Soon you’ll be descaling yourself,

gargling in front of the bathroom mirror,

recounting kisses,

the different pressures of his touch,

his voice in your ear like a frustrated wasp.

At least that’s what I imagine.

Even a clever actress like you

turns see-through now and then.

When you slink under the covers

I’ll pretend to be asleep as I always do,

keeping my eyes shut

regurgitating the reasons for staying.

My mother always claimed I was weak.

You have no fight, she’d say.

Just like your father, she’d say.

In the other room

something is burning.

Listen with me.

Hear the wood crackle,

timbers spitting sparks,

flame tongues licking every appliance and wall,

everything sizzling with life

for the first time in years.