--I’LL BE BETTER WHEN I’M OLDER

…Happy Friday.

I just returned from Portland for a two day jag with my best friend.  It’s hard to revert to college-age antics when you many years removed from your college years, but somehow we managed to pull it off.

However, I’m not sure how my body feels about it.

And that was after a week in NYC.

Eeeee….

Now I just need to stay home for a while and detox.

…I did manage to do a bit of reading:

“Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk” by Ben Fountain was a book I loved.  It’s funny and tender and timely and one of those important books.

“The Submission” by Amy Waldman is about an architectural contest for designing the new Twin Towers with a Muslim named the winner and all the rancor and prejudice that ensues.

“The Bear” by Claire Cameron is about two children, ages six and four, who must find a way to safety after their parents are mauled by a bear while camping.

I’m also about half the way through Rachel Kushner’s fine book, “The Flame Throwers” with a strong, unique female lead character.

Oh, and I started The Bee Gee’s biography.  (yep, really.)

…I just saw this article in Yahoo News.  It’s pretty remarKable.  Kim Jong-Un is a lunatic.  And it’s remarkable the North Korean people don’t find a way to overthrow him:

--Washington (AFP) - The United States on Thursday condemned "ugly and disrespectful" racist comments directed towards President Barack Obama by North Korea's official KCNA news agency.

"While the North Korean Government-controlled media are distinguished by their histrionics, these comments are particularly ugly and disrespectful," National Security Council spokeswoman Caitlin Hayden told AFP.

Hayden was referring to a diatribe attacking Obama, published in Korean by KCNA last week, extracts of which were reported by the Washington Post on Thursday.

According to the Post's translation, KCNA unleashed a barrage of racist insults at Obama, describing him as a "crossbreed with unclear blood" who had "the figure of a monkey."

"It would be perfect for Obama to live with a group of monkeys in the world's largest African natural zoo and lick the bread crumbs thrown by spectators," the Post cited the commentary as saying.

KCNA has taken its often bombastic rhetoric to new levels in recent weeks, last month decrying South Korean President Park Geun-Hye as a "prostitute" in thrall to her "pimp" Obama, while declaring it was ready for "full-scale nuclear war."

…Switching gears, here are some witticisms from Facebook friends last week:

-Let's see if wearing a Spiderman costume while I write helps. Better than coffee?

-As far as I can tell, the following conditions are out of fashion for women:
1. nymphomania (no longer exists)
2. menopause (must have a different name now, never hear the word spoken)
3. nipples (they are absolutely unfashionable and hidden in padded bras)
4. "the vapors" (whatever that was)

-Tips On How To Quit Smoking!!

1. Avoid activities that are improved by smoking, such as:
- Drinking alcohol
- Thinking deeply

-Talking to people

-Watching Mad Men

-Dating

-Taking a shit

-Leaving your house

-Staying in for the night

-Listening to music

-Making eye contact

2. Replace smoking with another habit like shooting heroin or incessant masturbation (unless you think these would be improved by smoking, if so you should avoid them at any cost.)

3. Kill yourself.
- Talking to people
- Watching Mad Men
- Dating
- Taking a shit
- Leaving your house
- Staying in for the night
- Listening to music
- Making eye contact- Talking to people
- Watching Mad Men
- Dating
- Taking a shit

--Something you're not expecting to hear when you accidentally enter the women's restroom: "Mathieu? Hey! How's it going? Say hi to your mother for me."

-Hi Friday. You're cute. What's your sign?