--I HOPE YOU HAD THE BEST TIME EVER

           

…This weekend I saw dolphins and otters and herons and I caught crabs in pots set on the bottom of the Puget Sound, crabs I later ate, and which were delicious, if not also a lot of work to eat.

This weekend I didn’t write a single word, but I think that’s okay.

…Here are funny/fun/interesting things my friends wanted to share on Facebook:

 -Who needs Internet porn when you can watch two people having sex in the grass outside of your local Loews?

-Made out w/a guy & kept my eyes open gonna text him I STARED AT YOUR CLOSED EYELIDS DURING OUR KISS he'll prob be like I'm not marrying this one.

-Today is apparently "meet my exes day".

-Probably never a good idea to call the editor a “bitch” after you receive a rejection.

-Decided to celebrate my birthday by dropping my phone in the toilet.

-Conversation between me and my husband...
Me: Is this shirt too loud?
Les: I can't hear anything.

-I told the young woman who cuts my hair that I went to the Paul McCartney concert at Fenway park this week. She asked, "What song does he do?"

-I overheard a co-worker spelling someone's name over the phone, and I swear she said "’I’, like in inappropriate." It was awesome.

-Last night i dreamed there were drunken poets at my kitchen table reading poems.

-a girl i went to high school with is also in this library but she can't see me. i'm not wearing a bra, mostly because i forgot. i'm listening to 'exile on main street.' i set off the fire alarm this morning making pancakes. what a special day.

-Sometimes I'll be canoeing and see a helicopter and wish my canoe could eat the helicopter.

-Just successfully passed my 4th kidney stone. BOOM.

-You know that song in Mary Poppins about sugar making the medicine go down easier? Well wine does that to laundry, it turns out.

-Nothing sexier than waking up to a man in a Zappa apron making gumbo. Mmmm. I'm a lucky woman.

-Please, do not ask me to play Facebook games. I am weak enough as it is.

-It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

-Today is AMAZING!