--GREEN IS A REALLY GREAT COLOR ON YOU. IT BRINGS OUT THE GREEN IN YOUR EYES
…I sent a story into an online magazine. The theme was “fashion” and the story had to
be 500 words or less.
This is the response I got:
Hi Len,
I read your story last night and the
end is so disturbing, I just can't run it, I'm sorry.
Of course it's a personal choice -
these things always are - but I was so disturbed by the final image I just
thought no, I can't.
I've thought about it some more and
just re read it and still the same, so I thought I would let you know.
Of course, if you have something
else.
Thanks Len,
…I’m not upset at all.
Truly, I’m not. I’m just
surprised. I’ve been rejected hundreds
of times and this editor is a friend of mine who I like a great deal.
So, yes, absolutely, I do write on disturbing
topics. But was this story really that
disturbing?
You decide and let me know.
Here it is:
Fashionista
The
pink wig she put on was a bob cut. It
went well with her bubblegum lipstick and Pepto-pink necklace.
She
was thin, had gotten very skinny over the last year, and yet it was a struggle
to get the tight leather pants over her bony hips. Next, she added a silver chainmail halter
that shimmered and rustled when she moved even the slightest.
The
summer days were too long and it seemed night would never come. She snorted a jagged line of white powder off
her coffee table and welcomed the fierce burn.
She took another and another until her eyes watered and her nose ran and
all she could taste was the satisfying copper tang of her own blood.
Near
dusk, she strapped on her stilettos and grabbed her clutch-sized handbag,
peeking inside to make sure everything was in order. In the mirror that hung from her apartment
door, she looked exotic and sensual, desirable, to be sure. After she touched her lips to the glass, they
left an imprint that resembled a pair of wings closing in on themselves.
She
knew where to go, which street. She’d
moved here months ago, after the trial and verdict, and had told herself to be
patient, studying the new city, doing proper surveillance, establishing the
man’s habitual patterns and customs.
Around
midnight, the red Jaguar slowed half a block from where she stood under a
streetlight that cast her elongated shadow in two directions, like a
switchblade half-open, she noticed, and that made her smirk.
Now
that he was here, though, she felt an unexpected calmness and no adrenalin rush
whatsoever. Perhaps it was the aftereffects
from all the drugs earlier, or maybe it was a sense of impending freedom.
His
driver-side window buzzed as it came down and he leaned across. He’d gotten thick since fleeing the
States. Too much strudel, warm beer and
sausages.
In
a foreign language she’d recently learned, he said, “Why, aren’t you a pretty
fashionista.” He was so pleased with
himself, even though his accent came through sloppy and disjointed.
In
English, she said, “I’ve been waiting for you.”
Both
her statement and her speaking his native tongue startled him. “Well, what are you waiting for?”
“Yes,
what?” she said, sliding into the car.
“Where should we go?” he asked, adjusting the
rearview so he could steal glances at her outfit while driving.
“Where
do you usually take them?”
“Can’t
go there. How about my place? You cool with that?”
“I
am,” she said, “I am very cool,” and he chuckled, said, “You’re a mysterious
piece of work.”
She
waited until they were in bed, both of them naked, her straddling him on top.
She
didn’t much resemble her sister, the one he’d raped and killed, and he would
never have known it had she not rammed the knife through his heart, afterward
carving Ashley Andrews—her sis’s named—across his chest.
Hey Len, just read this piece & I like it, especially the end. It's perfect. I didn't find it too disturbing by any means. Granted, I love reading dark stories with darker endings. Anyways, hope all is well. Good luck finding a home for this one in the future.
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