Wednesday, November 30, 2011
--WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
…Yesterday was a bit of a thrill.
My story, “Mouthwash” was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. It’s my first nomination.
These days a lot of people get nominated for the Pushcart because there are so many online lit journals, but it still means a great deal to me. I even have the 2008 Pushcart Anthology on a bookshelf right behind me.
I feel as if I have always lagged behind my writer peers. Most have novels out or story collections out or maybe even several collections. I know I shouldn’t compare myself, but having grown up in a family with seven brothers, well, I’m competitive.
Competitive and insecure.
These are a couple of things I wish I could change about myself, although to a large degree, they have served me well in many ways.
They’ve driven me to be productive. I guess it’s about finding more of a balance, moderation.
Sara Lippmann, a friend of mine, wrote a column in Used Laundry about the subject of striving versus enjoying. She talked about simply doing your best work. Always doing your best work, no matter what others do or say. That’s pretty good advice.
…My office smells like Aqua Di Gio, my favorite fragrance. I save the scent strip ads in magazines and open one up every now and then. It’s a good trick.
I’m listening to Sufjan Stevens. I’m not sure why artists need to use such bizarre ambient noises in their songs. All they do is take you out of the music.
The new Drake disc got four stars in Rolling Stone magazine. The new Drake disc is like listening to the first Drake disc, but maybe on vicodin.
…Today I have to put up the Christmas tree and Christmas decorations, but I am going to write. I feel like there are a lot of creative words inside of me today.
…The other day I watched Pete the eagle swoop and dive bomb a scattered gaggle of ducklings on the lake. It was oddly terrifying. I’m a fan of Pete’s, but I was definitely rooting for the ducks in this case. The fowl kept going under and then finally they went under for a long time and never came up, or if they did, I never saw them.
Right now there are a group of ducks outside my window by the dock bobbing underwater, plucking out fish and eating them. Why do I not care so much about them gobbling fish when I feared for the ducks as Pete made his assaults?
…Here are a couple of things I like on a Wednesday:
“Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.” A.A. Milne
"I'm losing faith in humanity one faked orgasm at a time." Summer Robinson
"What kind of beast would turn its life into words? What atonement is this all about?" Adrienne Rich
"Given the choice between grief and nothing, I choose grief." Faulkner
"There are a lot more cannibals in this country than people think." Dexter
"I need you to give my heart an erection." Parenthood
"Given the choice between grief and nothing, I choose grief." Faulkner
ReplyDeleteI can get behind this. I would rather ebb, teeter and totter through life with grief in it's many forms. Happiness. Not a consistent state. It's a high expectation.We will sometimes have 24 hours of happy in a day. And sometimes only 2 minutes. I want to be alive for all the beauty and the all the beasts: Til I'm at least 105.