--I DON’T REALLY DOUBT YOU; QUITE THE OPPOSITE

…Rabbit Rabbit

…I have a few things:
--a story, “Glass Houses” up at Word Gumbo out of the UK
--two poems—“Secrets Magicians Won’t Share” & “Abducted” at THIS Literary Zine
--and five stories included in a retrospective at Connotation Press
All of these are also included here under words in print.

…It’s been four days since I wrote here. I try never to go more than three. I have been bad. I am a bad boy.

…I have by reading “On Writing Well” by William Zinsser. It was recommended by our instructor at the Iowa Weekend Writer’s Conference and I can see why.
He’s sharp, savvy and speaks with an authoritative voice, getting to the heart of the matter without mincing words.
He’s also helped pull me out of this self-doubt ditch I’d fallen into. He says, “Write for no one but yourself. Don’t care if anyone sees it or reads it. I’m not quoting directly here. He says it better than I just have and at some point I’ll share all of his strongest snippets with you.
He’s no saying anything I haven’t heard, but like all inspirational people, he articulates things in a way that brings the material to new life so it seems fresh, relevant, illuminating and even urgent.
--I’m trying to keep myself centered. Why do I write? the question stays anchored foremost in my mind.
I write because I love it.
I write because it’s therapeutic, and I have demons I need to evict.
I write because I get an endorphin rush when I’m done with a piece.
I write because I read a lot and when I read good writing I grab a pen and paper and reflexively start blathering on.
I don’t think I could ever stop writing. Last week was my lightest output in several years and it left me feeling sad and sort of depleted, almost defeated. I didn’t write on purpose. I wanted to see how it would feel emotionally and spiritually.
--I’ve decided to less obsessed with outcome and goals and numbers. And I’m not going to be so concerned if I get an agent or not, if my novel and collections get published. Sure, I’ll keep trying, but I’m not going to brow beat myself if it takes a long while to happen or even if it doesn’t happen.
I am a writer. I write because I love it. I write because I must. The rest doesn’t really matter.

…Presently I am at a divey sort of café near SeaTac Airport. Planes swoop in and soar out. Planes in white sky always make me think of 9/11. I think about 9/11 quite a bit. It still seems unfathomable to me.
I like the energy in airports. Seeing all the people. The couples, young and old. The kids. All the stories each person is living out.
Seeing so many people in airports always grounds me: I am insignificant in the world. There are billions of others. I am not special.
I think it’s good to be grounded that way.
I still don’t completely understand how airplanes can fly, especially the double decker ones.
I don’t understand how cruise ships can float.
I guess I am not that smart or knowledge about engineering and aerodynamics. Probably if you explained it to me, I still wouldn’t get it. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

…I like these things on a sunny afternoon at SeaTac:

"I don't believe there is any greater blessing than that of being pierced through and through by the splendor and sweetness of words…I wouldn't take the kingdom for it." Edith Wharton

"What fascinates me about life is that now and then the past rises up and declares itself." Sue Grafton

"If you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed." David Viscott

"I will make love my greatest weapon and none on who I call can defend against its force....My love will melt all hearts liken to the sun whose rays soften the coldest day." Og Mandino

"Everyone who has ever taken a shower has had an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference." Nolan Bushnell